FUCK.

I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do? What am I waiting for? The end of exams? The summer? The new school year? WHAT? WHAAAT?
By one side, I want to be a "good" girl. Being excellent at school, have a lot of besties that will love me, an average boyfriend and an average appearance. Too easy, too common for me. I hate commonalty! I can even imagine myself. Saturday night, meeting my friends, going to eat smth and then chill out. BOREDOM AND DISGUST. This is the way, that my ex-friends used to spend their free time, how stupid? I just can't live like that.
I feel a party animal -ok, it's so common to meet these two words on blogs, "party animal", but really, I'm one too- and last time I went out, I so got drunk  and I love the sense of being wasted. I was laughing and not thinking of anything. When I drink, the only think that I can do is laugh and it feels so good.
So, yes, at the other side, I'm a bum inside me. I try to hang out with boys who have the worst reputation. Do U want to know a fact about me? One of my new friends had a five-year penalty until becoming 18.